iwillfucknepeta: pimpeta-slap: mrv4n1ll4m1lksh4k3: pimpeta-slap: Who came up with kissing? Seriously? Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice” *violently bashes head together again* “This should be a thing” kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person ...
whimsicalspecks: akitron: buttlarious: tumblr is boring today better go check tumblr #I literally get bored and close tumblr only to reopen tumblr
majesticjackfrost: DO YOU EVER LOOK AT YOUR FOLLOWERS AND REALIZE OUT OF THE MILLIONS OF BLOGS THAT ARE ON HERE THEY DECIDED TO FOLLOW YOU LIKE HOW DID YOU FIND ME THANK YOU YOU ARE ALL GREAT I’D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY
epic-humor: mrschriskendall: mrschriskendall: ”where do you wanna go to dinner?” ”i don’t care” ”ok” why this got notes i’ll never know see more
thewritersaddress: Spoken Word of I Write About Girls. I write about girls — the ones with big hearts and soft lips made only for kissing I write about their wishing-well eyes — not because they are dark nor vacant — but because they are indecipherable, and I cannot ascertain to what depths their irises will allow me to swim. I write about girls with broken hearts, living their lives...
tsunderrorist: if you’re having a bad day here is a baby polar bear being tickled
theepichumor: When the back of a book has a bunch of reviews instead of a summary Except for Ellen’s book right and tina fey’s Funny Stuff you like?
cucumberbatchin: Sometimes I get ‘readers-block’, like I can’t read anything to save my life, I’ll start 10 books and stop each after seven pages because all I’ll want is to already have read that book and not actually read it and I won’t be able to focus at all and it pains me so much.
As is our confidence, so is our capacity:... →
texsaucesome: This is my baby cousin Max. He is about to turn five, and since Max has been able to talk he seemed to love princesses, dresses, and other feminine things. Every second of every day he asked for skirts and dolls, but his dad was always put off by the idea. He said it was a bad thing to encourage these behaviors. My aunt on the other hand saw no problem with this and just wanted her...
When one of my friends says they're ugly.
hutchasaurus: I will never not reblog this gif
gayalpha: so at like 1 am yesterday my friend and i were talking and for some reason we were talking about languages and then just mid conversation i stop and i look at her and say “slurred language. slanguange. slang.” and she just stared back at me like she just witnessed the creation of the universe
thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble: agentgreenfishy: poselikeateam: fuck-i-just: Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.” Why does this not have any notes? lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?” “Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
haansolo: ghostbono: i misread obamacare as obamacore and thought it was a new subgenre
If everybody’s a musician and everybody’s making mediocre music eventually the...– Moby, from the documentary, “PressPausePlay” (via aidanowitz)